Secret Promise?
by emmareden
Summary: Snippets of Charles in Radley and how the family deals. Charles Dilaurentis/ Jessica Dilaurentis/ Alison Dilaurentis/ Jason Dilaurentis/ Kenneth Dilaurentis.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Just a few snippets from Charles' time at Radley because we really didn't see enough of it. Set about a year after Charles is put in Radley. Might turn into a multi-chapter.**

"Mommy!"

Jessica Dilaurentis smiled as she caught her energetic son in her arms and hugged him tightly.

"I missed you, Charlie," she whispered, holding him tightly.

"I missed you too, mommy," Charles said, "Can I come home yet?"

Jessica felt a lump form in her throat, "Soon, honey, soon."

"Okay," Charles smiled innocently, "How's Ali?"

Jessica smiled as she took a seat on her son's bed, looking around the room. She'd done her best best to make it feel homely but… it still wasn't the home her son deserved.

"Mommy? How's Ali? I miss her," the young boy tugged at his mother's sleeve impatiently.

"She's good, sweetheart. Her hair is getting much lighter, she's growing very fast," she pulled out her wallet and passed her son a photo of his toddler sister.

"Wow!" Charles exclaimed, "She's so big now! And her hair is like mine! Can she walk and talk? Can she say 'mom'?"

Jessica melted at her son's curiosity, "Yes, she walks and talks a little. Her first word was Jason… maybe because he was always poking her so one day she hit him and said "Jason! Stop!""

Charles giggled, "Can she say my name?" he asked, eyes wide.

Jessica struggled to keep her composure, "Well," she said slowly, "I thought you could teach her when you see her next."

Charles eyes brightened, "Really? When do I get to see her?"

"I thought…for your birthday maybe you, me, Ali and Jason could go on a little picnic," Jessica explained.

"Okay!" Charles stood up excitedly, "I can't wait! I've missed everyone so much! Well," his face fell, "not dad so much. He'll never like me, will he?"

Jessica took his son's hand, "That's not true, Charles," she said quietly.

"He never visits me," Charles shrugged, "It's okay, mom. I don't mind. He's scary anyway."

Jessica felt a tight tug in her chest, "Oh honey, he just doesn't understand…"

"It's really okay, mom," Charles smiled, "I have you."

"You do," Jessica kissed him on top of the head, "I bought you a new present."

Charles beamed, bouncing on his toes excitedly, "You did? Can I see?"

Jessica reached into her bag and pulled out a small, blue dress.

"It's so pretty!" Charles gasped, taking it in his hands. He placed it over his over body and spun around until he grew dizzy.

Jessica chuckled, "So are you, Charlie," she pulled him into her arms and held him close.

"Thanks, mom," he whispered.

"I love you, Charlie," Jessica whispered, blinking out a tear like she did nearly every time she had to leave her son alone in that place, "Please never forget that."

"I love you too, mom," Charles replied, "And I love my new dress!"

Jessica smiled as she withdrew.

"Don't cry, mommy," Charles said quietly, "I'll see you on my birthday!"

Jessica nodded, "You will. I just miss you, Charlie. I wish…" she trailed off.

"I know," Charles said sadly, "But he's scary and he won't let me come home. It's okay. I like it here."

That only broke Jessica's heart further but she forced a smile for her son.

* * *

Charles saw his family coming through the window and bounded out to meet them. He stopped at the doors he wasn't allowed past and waited. His mom hugged him. Jason waved to him. Ali stood behind her mom's legs shyly.

Charles tilted his head and approached her slowly.

"Hi, Ali!" he chirped, "I'm your big brother, Charlie! Can you say Charlie?"

Alison's big eyes blinked slowly and she looked at her mom, "Brother?"

Jessica bent down to her eye level, "Yes, he's your brother. It's his birthday today."

Charlie nodded, moving closer to his mom, "She doesn't remember me," he said sadly.

"She was just a baby, Charlie," Jessica squeezed his shoulders.

"Charlie," Alison interrupted.

Charlie smiled, "Ali!"

Alison put her small arms around her eldest brother, "Brother Charlie. Happy birthday!"

Charlie beamed and returned the hug.

Jessica smiled, "Well, let's get to the lake for a picnic!"

* * *

"Mommy, why's Charlie stay at that place?" Alison asked as they arrived back home.

Jessica sat her children down and bent down, a hand on each of their arms, "It's very important, remember, you can't tell daddy where we went today. It's a big secret," she put her finger to her lips, "Promise?"

"Promise," Alison echoed.

Jason nodded, "Promise, mom."

* * *

"So, what did you get up to today?"

Alison smiled happily, "We went on a picnic!"

Kenneth smiled at his bubbly daughter, "Was it fun?"

"Yep, we had lots of food and we made a new friend!"

"Sh, you're not meant to tell, remember!?" Jason whispered, poking his little sister.

Jessica felt her body tense.

"A new friend?" a curious Kenneth asked.

Jessica cleared her throat, "Ali fed the ducks," she explained quickly, "They were very friendly."

Alison's smile faltered for a moment before she nodded, "They came up and ate right out of my hand!" she claimed proudly.

"Well, isn't that nice?" Kenneth smiled at his daughters' enthusiasm.

* * *

Charles looked at himself in the mirror. He really did like his newest dress. He missed his family already though. He sat on his bed and picked up his favourite teddy bear. He held the teddy tight to his chest.

One day he would be with his family again. He had to believe that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Mom, why doesn't Ali and Jason come with you anymore?" Charles asked, kicking his feet over the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry, honey. It's very hard. They're both busy at school…" Jessica knew it was a weak excuse, but what else could she say? That she was too scared to let her kids come and see their big brother unless they blurted it to their father?

"Oh," Charles nodded sadly, "Okay," he smiled at his mom, "I think this is my favourite dress ever."

Jessica smiled in relief, "It looks beautiful on you. Yellow is definitely your colour."

Charles grinned, "I wish I could have long, pretty hair like yours."

"You can grow your hair, honey," Jessica said.

"Dad says boys should have short hair, remember?" Charles shoulders dropped.

Jessica shook her head, "Well, dad's not here, is he? And I think you would look beautiful with long hair."

"It will take so long," Charles sighed dramatically, running a hand through his blonde hair, "It's so short."

Jessica chuckled, "Patience, Charlie."

Charles nodded, "Okay, I'll wait! Do you really think it's okay for boys to wear dresses and have long hair?" he frowned, "I think some people think it's strange."

"I want you to do whatever makes you comfortable, Charlie. It doesn't matter what anyone else says – "

"But that doctor – "

"Didn't know what he was talking about," Jessica cut in firmly, "That's why we won't see him anymore. You can have a new doctor. One that will understand us better."

Charles smiled, "I hope so, mommy."

* * *

"Mommy, I swear it wasn't me," Charles cried, "It was Bethany. She just pushed her right off but everyone thinks it was me. Please, believe me."

Jessica looked at her now teenage son. He clung onto the teddy bear she'd given him when he was just a baby. His cheeks were tear streaked. Jessica knew her son might have some eccentricities but he would never intentionally hurt anyone, despite what her husband believed.

"I believe you, honey," she choked out, pulling him into her arms and a hand in his hair, feeling his body shaking against her, "Shh, it's going to be okay."

"But how?" Charles sniffed, "Everybody believes Bethany and now they think I'm even weirder because they saw me in my dress," the young boy cried into his mothers' shoulder.

"I'll take care of it, Charlie," Jessica looked him in the eye, "I promise," she said firmly, "And you are not weird. You're perfect the way you are."

* * *

It saddened Jessica to see her usually energetic son so subdued. The doctors' had put him on strong sedatives since he'd been so upset about Ms Cavanagh's "suicide."

"I'm sleepy, mommy," he mumbled into his mom's chest.

"I know, honey," Jessica murmured, "It's okay, you can go to sleep if you like."

Charlie tried to shake the sleep away from his head, "But you only come sometimes, I don't want to sleep and then you'll be gone and I won't see you for ages."

Jessica smiled sadly, "I'm sorry, Charlie," she whispered, "I'll try to come by more often, I promise."

Charlie smiled up at his mom, "Thanks, mom. I think you're the only person in the whole world who likes me."

Jessica sighed, "Charlie, that's not true – "

"They all laughed at me," Charlie mumbled.

"Who did?" Jessica asked.

"The other kids," Charlie said quietly, "In group, they asked us to draw what we wanted to be when we grow up."

Jessica had a feeling she knew what was coming, "What did you draw, sweetheart?"

Charlie shrugged.

Jessica took his hand, "It's okay, you can tell me anything, remember?"

Charlie nodded, "I drew me but as a girl. That's what I want to be when I grow up. But I know it's wrong," he hung his head, "But I don't feel…complete like this."

"I know you don't, honey," Jessica kissed his head, "You're not the only one who feels like this, you know."

Charlie tilted his head, "I'm not?"

"No," Jessica smiled, "I've been doing a lot of research and there are lots of boys who are really girls inside and lots of girls who are really boys inside."

Charlie's eyes were wide, "Like me!"

"Exactly," Jessica ran a hand through his blonde hair, "So, if you like, we can talk to someone and see what we can do."

Charlie smiled widely, "Really? Do you think when I grow up I can be a girl?"

Jessica smiled at the hope in her son's wide, blue eyes, "I'm sure you can be whatever you want to be."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I go more off canon here (well possibly, we don't even really know some of these details). I also don't pretend to be an expert at the transgender stuff so that's why I'm not going into huge detail with how it all works but still obviously mentioning it. Hopefully this makes sense. I think the reason Charlotte isn't more like let me out of Radley is just because she's been there for so long she kind of accepts it. And she accepts that her mom knows best. It's almost stockholm syndrome-ish in that sense but yeah, that's why she doesn't fight it more!**

 **Chapter 3.**

"I hate being a boy," Charles grumbled, "My body is going through all these gross changes."

"You know, if you go through the therapy… your body will go through a lot of changes too," Jessica watched her son closely, "Girls at your age go through lots of changes too. It might be really hard for you, Charles."

"I know," Charles smiled, "I read all the brochures. Twice."

Jessica sighed, "Of course you did," she smiled, "You really want this, don't you?"

Charles nodded, "Yes," he said quietly, "Am I a disappointment, mommy?"

"No," Jessica said quickly, "No, of course not, honey. I just need to be sure this is what you really want because it's a very big decision."

"I really do, mom," Charles said firmly, "I even know what I want to be called. Charlotte!" he smiled, his eyes determined.

"Charlotte," Jessica echoed before smiling, "It suits you."

Jessica couldn't give her son much, but she could, and would give him this.

* * *

Jessica was surprised at how easy it was for her to see her son change into her daughter. Maybe it was because he… she, Jessica corrected herself, had never seemed happier than now.

"Are you feeling okay today?" she asked, as she pushed open the door.

Charlotte looked up from her book, "I'm okay," she smiled.

"Good," Jessica sat down on the bed, "Because I bought you something special today."

Charlotte put her book down and looked at her mother curiously, "A new dress?" she guessed.

Jessica smiled, "Yes," she pulled it out, "But I thought you'd like to wear something a little more fitted now that your body is starting to change."

Charlotte looked at the dress, "It's still not…" she sighed.

"It just takes time, honey," Jessica squeezed her hand, "But you really have changed a lot. Look at your beautiful hair," she ran her hands through it, "You look so beautiful. Now go on, put it on."

Charlotte hesitated before grinning and grabbing the dress out of her mom's hands. She quickly wriggled her small body into it, pleased that it seemed to hug her shape more than any dress ever had before. She beamed at her reflection.

"I love it!" Charlotte exclaimed, running a hand down her side, "My body really is changing," she said quietly.

Jessica smiled, playing with her daughters' long, blonde hair absently, "It is," she agreed, "Are you happy, honey? I know it hasn't been easy and I know it's a slow process…"

Charlotte turned around to face her mom, "It's okay, mom. I'm really happy. I finally feel more like… me than I ever have. I'm just glad you've been with me through it," she quickly wrapped her arms around her mom, "I love you so much, mommy."

"Oh, darling, I love you too," Jessica squeezed her daughter tight, "And I always will."

"I have to go back to Radley, don't I?" Charlotte's smile faltered.

Jessica sighed, "Not yet, honey… " her mind drifted, "But yes, soon."

Charlotte nodded sadly, "Okay," she smiled a little, "You know best."

* * *

Charlotte tried to concentrate on the book in her hands but she couldn't. She knew her mom would take her back to Radley soon. She supposed her mother knew best. She looked at the door. Her mom wasn't due back until tomorrow. Sometimes she had to leave Charlotte alone for days. Usually Charlotte hated it, but tonight… tonight, she had a plan.

She'd never broken a promise to her mom before and it made her nervous as she snuck out of the hotel. She felt like she was being watched but she knew she was just scared. A breath of relief left her as she got out onto the street. She'd almost expected some nurse or doctor to emerge from the hotel lobby and drag her back to her room.

But they didn't. She squinted at the unfamiliar street for a moment, recalling the car trip from Radley to her home of the last while. She was thankful for her photographic memory and she set off on her way.

* * *

"Is Aunt Carol getting better, mom?" Alison asked.

Jessica smiled, "She's getting much better now," she explained, "She'll be just fine."

"Hmm, then maybe mom will be around a bit more," Kenneth sounded a little passive aggressive.

Jessica nodded, "I will," she agreed.

"Cool," Alison shrugged, pulling her phone out as she wandered off.

"It's been all year Jessica. You're gone all the time – "

"She's my sister, what am I meant to do?" Jessica answered sharply.

Kenneth put his hands up in defence, "Okay, I'm just saying we miss you. We miss being a family."

Jessica bit her tongue, "So do I," she said quietly.

* * *

Charlotte's eyes widened. She never knew Jason smoked. How would she? But there he was, blowing smoke out his bedroom window. What a gross habit, she thought, and how different he looks. Very handsome.

Then there was a quiet pitter patter and she covered her mouth as she gasped, ducking down. She'd recognise her baby sister anywhere. By the looks of it, she wasn't the only one sneaking around tonight. She wondered where Alison was sneaking off to. Was she old enough to like boys? Was she going to see friends? She looked happy. She looked pretty.

She dared to move a little closer and follow her sister through the yard. She ran a hand through her own long, blonde hair. They looked like real sisters now, she thought happily. A twig cracked underfoot and she hid behind a bush.

Alison turned around. Charlotte held a hand over her mouth, trying not to make a sound. Alison's wide eyes scanned the bushes. Charlotte felt something tickle her leg. She looked down to see a spider crawling up her leg and let out a gasp. Instinctively, she swatted it away before thinking about the noise she made.

Alison took a step backwards and quickly ran to the back door.

A moment later, Jessica appeared in the yard with a bright torch. She stood on the patio and shone it over the bushes.

"Hello?" she called.

Charlotte bit her lip anxiously.

Jessica lowered the torch but after thinking for a moment, raised it again as she stepped further into the yard.

"Charlotte?" she asked in a more hushed tone this time, "Is that you?"

Charlotte hesitated before hanging her head and emerging from the bushes.

"I didn't mean to scare her, mom," she said quietly, "She didn't see me, I promise."

Jessica looked back towards the house and pulled her daughter into the bushes, "Like you promised to stay at the hotel?"

Charlotte flinched at the anger in her mom's tone, "I'm sorry," she whispered, "I just wanted to see them, mom. They're my family."

Jessica sighed, "I know, sweetheart. You're just lucky Alison found me first, if your father…"

Charlotte scoffed, "What father?"

Jessica couldn't blame her daughter for that, "We need to get you back to the hotel," she decided, "Just… wait here for a moment, okay? Don't move. Promise?"

Charlotte nodded sadly, "I promise."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So this story goes in and out of canon. Basically fills some gaps because as much as we know about the Dilaurentis's, what do we really know about the parents? Hope you enjoy. Let me know your thoughts! :)**

 **Chapter 4**

Charlotte watched her mom nervously as she drove. Her mom had barely said a word since they'd got into the car.

"Are you mad at me, mom? I'm sorry, I just wanted to see them. That's all. I just – "

Jessica sighed, "I know, honey but you need to wait."

"Wait," Charlotte mumbled, "I know."

"It's important, Charlotte," Jessica pressed, "It's very complicated."

Charlotte nodded, "I'll wait."

Jessica took her hand off the steering wheel to squeeze Charlotte's quickly. They drove in silence for a few more minutes.

"Ali looks so pretty," Charlotte said quietly.

Jessica smiled, "She is," she agreed, "Just like you."

Charlotte's smile faded, "She doesn't smoke, does she?"

Jessica frowned, looking at her daughter, "Did you see her smoking?"

"No," Charlotte shook her head, "But Jason was smoking out his window… it's gross."

Jessica nodded, "Ah, he does smoke. I thought so. His clothes stink and his friends… but no, I don't think Ali smokes."

"I hope not. Do you know what it does to your lungs? It – "

"Okay, okay," Jessica laughed, "You've been reading those medical journals again. I don't need the details."

Charlotte was happy to hear her mom laugh; it meant she wasn't so mad anymore, "Fine, but you should know so you can tell Jason."

Jessica rolled her eyes as she pulled back into the hotel, "Of course I know, Charlie. I used to smoke you know."

"Oh, mom!" Charlotte shook her head disapprovingly, "That's not good. Do you know the long term effects all those chemicals have on your body?"

"Yes, I had a very nice doctor give me all the details," Jessica chuckled as she unlocked the door and the two were back in the safety of the hotel room.

"I can't believe you were a smoker," Charlotte sat down on the bed.

"I was young once too," Jessica replied, "You just promise me you'll never do the same."

Charlotte shrugged, "I would never. I know what it does to every organ. Plus, it smells yuck so I can't imagine that it tastes any better. At least alcohol can taste nice," she stopped talking suddenly.

Jessica frowned, fixing her daughter with a stare, "How do you know what alcohol tastes like?" she asked slowly, sitting next to the younger woman.

Charlotte bit her lip, "Um, well I was on the roof one night and these other kids came up and they had some and I told them if they didn't give me some, I'd tell the nurses they had it… "

Jessica sighed, shaking her head, "Charlotte, I don't think you drinking is a very smart idea."

Charlotte shrugged, "It was fine," she mumbled.

"Charlotte… your mind… it's not the same as other people's," Jessica said carefully, "With all the medication you're on, I really don't think alcohol is a good idea. It can interact – "

Charlotte groaned, "Mom, I know. Medical journals, remember."

"Well, then why would you take the risk?" Jessica exclaimed.

Charlotte bit her tongue for a moment before replying, "Because I just wanted to be a normal teenager for once."

Jessica's face softened, she put a hand in her daughters' blonde hair, "Sweetheart, I'm sorry things are the way they are," she paused, "If I didn't have Jason and Alison to worry about, I would take you away from here and we could just drive away…" she meant it too.

Charlotte sighed, "I don't want you to leave Jason and Ali."

Silence fell between mother and daughter.

"Mom," Charlotte hesitated, "Do you love dad?"

Jessica blinked in surprise, "Do I…" she closed her eyes, "It's complicated, honey."

Charlotte's brow furrowed, "Mom… Why do you stay with him?"

Jessica was silent for a long time as she felt her daughters' patient eyes on her.

"Charlotte," she started, "I used to love him… but things changed. I can't leave him because… well, when we first took you to Radley, I wasn't happy. I shut off from him. I shut off from Alison and Jason. I stopped caring for them like I should. It was just a few months, maybe a year… but I was on medication and in therapy. One day, when Ali hadn't been walking for very long, she was out in the yard. I didn't know… I was reversing the car… I stopped in time, but I couldn't get behind the wheel for a long time. Your father was there and he has held it over my head. If I leave him, he'll get custody of Jason and Alison. He'll turn it all on me. He'll win. I know I'm not the best mother, but I can't leave them with him. I just can't. I failed you, I can't fail them."

Charlotte watched her mother wide eyed before throwing her arms around her, "You're a good mother," she whispered, "You didn't fail me," she claimed as she pulled away, "If it's to protect Jason and Ali, I don't mind."

"I'm sorry you're paying for my weaknesses," Jessica tried to blink away her tears, holding on to her daughter tightly, "I'm so sorry."

"Mom," Charlotte asked quietly, "Are you still sad?"

Jessica wiped her eyes as she pulled away, "Sometimes," she whispered, "Not when I'm with you," she smiled, "I still take medication but I'm usually okay. Some days I just get a bit down, but most days are okay."

Charlotte nodded, "Like me," she smiled sadly, "I wish you could have told me. I know about mental illness. Lots of the other kids in here are depressed. I could help you – "

Jessica smile was watery as she placed a hand on her daughters' face, "Charlie, you do help me. Every time I see you smile, it helps me. And I promise, one day, we'll escape all of this."

"I know, mom."


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

Jessica wasn't sure if she should be relieved or saddened that she was right in thinking her husband wouldn't even want to attend their son's… "funeral". She was surprised at how used to lying she had become. She hadn't always been like this. She would get Charlotte out of that place one day, she promised herself for the umpteenth time. She would find a way.

"It's time, honey."

Charlotte looked up from her cereal and sighed sadly, "Okay."

"I know you don't want to go back but I promise one day things will be different," Jessica promised.

Charlotte nodded, "I know, mom. You'll still visit, won't you?"

"Of course I will," Jessica kissed her forehead, "You better pack your bag, honey."

She watched her daughter oblige, as she always did, disappearing into her room. She knew she couldn't keep letting herself feel guilty for the double life she was living. She had an image to maintain. Not to mention what her husband would do to her if he found out that she'd kept her visits up to Charlotte let alone that she had supported Charlotte through this process. She could still love her daughter living like this. She'd convinced herself of this. She would do everything she could for Charlotte in that place.

* * *

"I still think we should both go," Kenneth was saying, despite his words apparently falling on deaf ears.

"I told you, I just can't make it," Jessica replied sharply, "I've got a million things to organise, you know the event is coming up – "

"I think Alison really wants her mom to be there – "

"Kenneth," Jessica stood up, "Just stop. I told you, I can't. You go for both of us. Have a good time."

Kenneth sighed and shook his head as he left.

It was just a stupid kindergarten play, Jessica told herself, Ali wouldn't even notice. She knew she was pulling away from her husband. Her children. Well, her children at home. It seemed ironic that she was closest to the child who was the furthest away from her.

She'd really tried to be normal with her family. But when she watched Alison she couldn't help thinking of her eldest daughter. Somehow, she couldn't let herself grow close to her youngest daughter. She didn't know if she was protecting herself or Alison. Maybe this whole mess was just due her poor mothering skills. She couldn't possibly inflict that on another child, could she? Her youngest daughter would be better off without her, she reasoned.

At least with Jason it was easier. The teenage boy seemed to have no interest in bonding with either of his parents. He was hardly home and when he was the only time Jessica seemed to see him was to tell him off for smoking in his room.

* * *

"You need to keep up with your readings, okay?" Jessica said.

Charlotte huffed, "I know, mom," she rolled her eyes, "I'm already ahead. I am smart, you know."

Jessica smiled, "I know you're smart. Have you done that essay – "

Charlotte handed the essay over, "Done," she smiled smugly.

Jessica begun reading the essay as Charlotte continued scrawling another.

"I wish I could go to a real school," she said quietly, breaking the silence, "With real classrooms… and real teachers and other kids," she sighed, "The library here sucks, mom. I've read everything in it and the classes they put on are what I learnt when I was like, ten."

"Well, not everybody is as intelligent as you are, Charlie," Jessica held up her daughters' essay, "This is fantastic. Your writing is beautiful, darling."

Charlotte shrugged, "I have a lot of time to write," she shrugged.

Jessica nodded, "Well, keep doing it. You're very talented."

"Nothing else to do," Charlotte muttered.

Jessica bit her tongue.

"Mom, I'm bored," Charlotte whined, "You don't come that much anymore and I know you're busy but it's so boring in here. Nobody in here wants to talk to me. They're all too sad to want to play any games. All I can do is study math and write and read and – "

Jessica put a hand on her daughters' to calm her tirade, "Hey, hey, I know," she said gently, "You're doing so well though. I'm proud of you."

Charlotte met her mothers' eyes with her own, "You are?" she asked.

"Of course I am," Jessica insisted, squeezing her daughters' hand, "I love you, Charlie."

"I love you too, mom," Charlotte hugged her.

"I'll try and find something more for you to do," Jessica promised, "I know you're bored. Your mind is so active. We just need to find you something more challenging."

Charlotte nodded, "Okay. Thanks, mom."

Jessica smiled, "Now, how about you beat me at a game of chess?"

Charlotte grinned, "Sure!"

* * *

The nurses were almost more attentive in the few days after her mom visited. Charlotte knew it was no coincidence, especially when they started offering to let her beat at them at some game.

"Check mate," Charlotte drawled in boredom.

The nurse blinked stupidly.

"Oh."

Charlotte groaned, "Can't anyone make a game last more than three minutes?"

The nurse smiled, "We're trying. You're not that easy to keep up with."

"Whatever," Charlotte shrugged, standing up.

"Oh come on, give me another go," the nurse protested.

"I'd rather watch grass grow than watch you try to use that excuse for a brain," Charlotte snapped.

The nurse stood up, "No need to be rude, Charlotte," she said softly, "I'm trying to – "

"You're trying to make money. Do you think I'm stupid? My mom pays you to play games with me because nobody else wants to. Well I'll just tell her it's not worth her money, you suck," Charlotte growled before walking away.

She pushed a door open slowly, surprising the two girls who resided inside.

"What do you want?" one of them asked.

Charlotte shrugged, "I want a beer."

The girl scoffed, "As if. Piss off."

Charlotte stepped into the room, "Fine, but if I'm leaving empty ended I promise you I'll tell the nurses about your stash. And I'll tell them you've stopped taking your meds."

"You don't know shit, Dilaurentis," the girl glowered.

Charlotte sighed, "Every morning you pretend to take them and then spit them into a tissue, wrap it up and throw it out in the bin by the water fountain."

The girl stared at her, "Are you stalking me? Freak."

"Just give me a beer… no, make it two," Charlotte demanded.

Begrudgingly, the girl handed over two bottles of beer. Charlotte smirked and walked away as she hid them under her clothes.

"You're welcome," the girl muttered.

* * *

"Still hang out up here, huh?"

Charlotte turned around, "What the hell are you doing here?"

Bethany shrugged, "I got transferred," she offered simply.

"Well transfer yourself far away from me," Charlotte made to push past the other girl.

"Oh come on, Charles, we're still friends aren't we?"

Charlotte turned on her, "Friends? You made everyone think I killed Miss Cavanagh."

"Your mom took care of it, didn't she? What's the big deal?"

Charlotte glared at her old friend, "We were never friends, Bethany. I wouldn't be your friend if you were the last person on earth."

"What if I told you I know a way out of this dump?" Bethany questioned, arms crossed and bouncing her eyebrows.

Charlotte shook her head, "I don't want a way out. Not with you."

Bethany chuckled, "Still believe mommy's gonna break you out someday, Charles? Grow up."

Charlotte ground her teeth, "That's not my name."

Bethany shrugged a shoulder, scanning her eyes over Charlotte's body, "Uh-huh, you really do make a good girl after all."

Charlotte's eyes darkened, "Bethany, I mean it. Stay clear of me or we're going to have problems," she begun to walk away.

Bethany grabbed Charlotte's arm, stepping in front of her, "We're only going to have problems if your mom starts sniffing around my dad again."

"Ancient history and you know it," Charlotte pushed past her.

"Fine," Bethany called, "But you don't exactly have a lot of options for friends, Charlotte. Come back when you realise mommy dearest is gonna keep you in here forever," she shrugged, turning away and spotting the beer that Charlotte had left in it's place.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Another chapter! Just filling in some more gaps the way I imagine/wish it went! Let me know what you think! :)**

 **CHAPTER 6**

"Do you want me to come in with you?"

Charlotte looked at her mom aghast, "Mom, it's college."

"I take that as a no," Jessica assumed, "I just… I want you to be safe. You know you have to check in with Radley every week and you – "

"Mom, we've been over it all. I know," Charlotte smiled, "I know how lucky I am to have this chance. I'm not going to blow it."

Jessica smiled, "Okay. Are you sure you don't want me to come in?"

Charlotte rolled her eyes, "I'm sure, mom. I'm not a little kid anymore."

Jessica sighed, "I know…" she smiled, "But you'll always be my little girl."

Charlotte bit back a smile, "Even though I wasn't really – "

"You were always my little girl, we both know that," Jessica ran a thumb over her daughters cheek.

"Thanks, mom," Charlotte whispered.

"Alright, now I'll come up and see you tomorrow. Make sure you're settling in okay. You have everything you need," she kissed Charlotte's cheek, "I'm so proud of you."

Charlotte couldn't believe how easy classes were. She'd actually been worried she might be behind, not having a typical education but it was the total opposite. She knew everything these boring old guys droned on about.

At least she was away from Radley. Except for now. She had to check in sometimes and it was the worst part of her week. Still, she was done and back on her way to her new life at Upenn.

"Charlotte."

She turned around.

"You. Piss off, Bethany."

Bethany crossed her arms, "My dad still won't see me. Your mom needs to be careful." she stepped closer to Charlotte, "You better warn her to step off."

Charlotte wasn't rattled, "My mom hasn't been near your dad in years. If your dad doesn't want to see you, it's nothing to do with her," she spun around and began to walk off, "Take your meds, Bethany. You're delusional."

"Just remember what happened to Miss Cavanagh," Bethany called after her.

Charlotte stopped in her tracks for a moment before trekking back to Bethany, "Don't ever threaten me and don't even think about threatening my mom," she growled, "You're stuck in here. You can't do shit and you know it. You're fixated. Move the fuck on."

Charlotte walked away, her breathing heavy as she open and closed her fist repeatedly. Bethany was… insane. Charlotte knew her mom had seen that bitches dad years ago but she also knew that was long over. Bethany had never liked Jessica. Her dad had used to dote on her until Jessica came along. Then he'd distanced himself more and more. Bethany blamed Jessica. She wouldn't get over it.

She wasn't like Charlotte. Charlotte's dad didn't want to see her either, but she decided not to care. It was his own stupid fault, no use blaming it on anyone else. But Bethany still wanted her dad's attention. She'd blame anyone she could for him not wanting to see her anymore.

Charlotte took a deep breath. It didn't matter; Bethany was still locked up in Radley. She couldn't hurt anyone.

Charlotte hesitated before getting on the bus back to college. Fuck it, she thought, I'm halfway to Rosewood already. Why not?

Charlotte had panicked. She'd needed a way in. That's all. Of course she wasn't attracted to her brother, that was gross. But it was the only way in. This way, she could spend time with him. This way, she could even spend time with Ali. She was just being nice, spending time with her…boyfriends' little sister.

She'd break up with him as soon as she'd formed a strong enough bond with Ali. And she wasn't going to do…anything with him. He was always stoned anyway. He just liked carrying her on his arm and telling his friends' they were doing things they weren't. That was just fine by her.

The worst thing about the whole situation was lying to her mom. Not that that lasted long.

And she couldn't force herself to say no when she saw her family looking back at her. Inviting her. A trip with her family… She couldn't believe her dad thought she was dead. Maybe she did care a bit more than she thought. No, she rationalised, her mom was all she'd ever needed.

"Mom, I'm sorry," Charlotte whispered when they had a moment alone.

Her mom looked at her, "Don't'…" she shook her head, she couldn't bring herself to tell her daughter not to call her mom, "It's fine. Just… they can't find out. Not like this."

Charlotte nodded, "I know. I'm… mom, I just wanted to be with my family."

"I know, well… enjoy it while you can," Jessica muttered before walking away.

Charlotte watched her sadly before she heard her little sisters' laugh tinkle. She smiled as she saw Alison approaching her.

"I'm glad you're here," Alison chirped, "These trips are usually super boring."

Charlotte smiled, watching her little sister flounce down beside her, "Oh yeah?"

"Yep," Alison nodded, "It's like dad says we're meant to be spending time as a family but then him and mom just fight. Jason just goes and gets stoned with his stupid friends."

Charlotte bit her lip, "Do your folks fight a lot?" she asked curiously.

Alison shrugged, "They don't have to. There's just like this… energy between them. They don't even have to speak, you know? Mom usually ends up in the guest room after a couple of days. I guess they only stay together for Jason and me."

Charlotte tried to hide her emotion, "That's too bad."

"What about your parents?" Alison asked suddenly, looking at the older woman expectantly.

There was something in her eyes that made Charlotte's heart race. Her little sister looked at her like they were old friends. Sisters even. With respect. Admiration. Charlotte decided to bask in every second of it, almost like she knew it was going to come to an end.

"Oh," Charlotte was caught off guard by the question, "They're… abroad. I don't see them much," she lied, surprised at how natural it felt.

"Oh. Sorry," Alison smiled a little shyly, "You can go out with Jason if you like. You don't have to babysit."

Charlotte grinned, "I don't mind, Ali. Like you said, Jason just gets stoned anyway. He's no fun when he's like that."

Alison tilted her head; something she'd already obliviously picked up off her big sister, "You don't like getting stoned?"

Charlotte pulled a face, "No, I don't like drugs much," she paused, "You don't use drugs, do you Ali?"

Alison noted the concern in the older woman's voice, "No way. I like to keep alert!"

Charlotte chuckled, "You sound like me."

Alison grinned, "I always wanted an older sister," she admitted.

Charlotte felt a tug in her chest, "I always wanted a little sister."

"Whoa, someone's a lightweight," Jason laughed as he supported Charlotte's body weight.

Charlotte groaned, "Sorry. I guess I don't drink much."

"It's fine, Cece," Jason shrugged, "I just wish we could have some alone time. We're always surrounded by other people."

Charlotte blinked rapidly, fighting the pain in her head, "Oh, well… I'm sure we'll find some time," she offered weakly.

Jason fished the key out of his pocket and opened the door.

"You should sleep," he showed her to the room she was staying in, "I'll see you in the morning," he went to kiss her but Charlotte turned away. Even in her drunken state, she knew that was wrong.

A few minutes later, she was crawling out of bed again. She looked down the hallway. At the guest room. Wondering. She approached the door and looked around before opening it quietly.

"Mom, I feel so sick," she whispered.

Jessica's shoulders dropped, her eyes a combination of panic, conflict then sympathy, "Close the door."

Charlotte closed it and Jessica beckoned her closer.

"You've been drinking, haven't you?"

Charlotte nodded, "A little."

Her mom raised her eyebrows, "A little?"

"Does it always feel so bad?" Charlotte groaned.

Jessica sighed and shuffled over in the bed, "Get in, honey," she said softly.

Charlotte looked towards the door, "Really?"

"For a little while," Jessica murmured, "Now stay here, I'm going to get you some water."

"Okay, mom," Charlotte whispered.

When her mom returned, Charlotte guzzled down the bottle of water.

"Remember when I said I didn't think it was a good idea for you to drink?" Jessica asked pointedly.

Charlotte nodded, "I know but everyone else was doing it," she mumbled.

"Just tell me you didn't smoke weed," Jessica said, "I know Jason does."

Charlotte shook her head, "I didn't, mom. It doesn't look fun at all. He just gets un-talkative and boring. When people drink, they get happy."

Jessica looked incredulous, "All those medical journals and that's what you think? People drink and get happy?"

"Well… all Jason's friends were happy," Charlotte mumbled, "I know it's not like that for everyone. But everybody seemed like they were having such a fun time and when I said to this girl I don't really drink, she looked at me like I was weird. I just wanted to fit in, mom."

"Sweetheart…" Jessica sighed, "You can't just… " she shook her head, "Just be careful, okay?"

Charlotte nodded, "I feel awful, mom. I don't want to drink ever again," she whined, "I feel like I'm dying."

Jessica rolled her eyes, "Don't be so dramatic Charlotte," she smiled, "About Jason…"

"I know, mom," Charlotte grumbled, "I swear, we haven't like done anything. I wouldn't… I know it's wrong. I'm going to break up with him. But I can't exactly do it while I'm on a trip with his family, can I?"

"When we get back… you'll end it with him?" Jessica asked firmly.

Charlotte nodded, "I promise."

"And you can't…"

"I know, mom," Charlotte said quickly, "I don't want to. I'm not attracted to him, he's my brother. Ew. It was stupid, I just wanted… I just wanted a way in. I think he's getting bored with me anyway because I won't kiss him or anything. He just likes to have a girlfriend to show off to his friends."

"You have such a high iq, I don't know how…"

"Because I don't think intellectually when it comes to my family, mom," Charlotte whispered, "I just…" she squeezed her eyes shut.

Jessica sighed, "It's okay. Get some sleep, okay? But I have to wake you up early so you can go back to your room, okay?"

Charlotte smiled a little, "Okay, mommy," she closed her eyes, "My stomach hurts," she murmured.

"I know, honey," Jessica ran a hand through her daughters' hair.

She watched her daughters eyes close. She watched her face soften as she fell into a peaceful sleep. She looked towards the door. She shook her head; was she crazy? This was one hell of a risk to take. Then she looked at her daughter again, one of Charlotte's hand still gripping her stomach in pain. She kissed her daughters' forehead and turned off the lamp. Sure, it was a risk. But she owed Charlotte a better life. This was really the least she could do. She held her daughter close.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So this is probably the last chapter cause I was really focusing on the Jessica/Charlotte relationship and well... I also changed the death scene slightly because it breaks my heart that they got no closure. Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!**

 **CHAPTER 7.**

"Mom, I swear I didn't know it was Ali," Charlotte was crying uncontrollably, "I thought it was Bethany. She stole my clothes and – "

"What have you done?" Jessica's voice cracked, "What have you done?"

Charlotte flinched, "Mom, I'm sorry."

She cried as she watched her mom fill in her little sisters' grave. She really had thought it was Bethany. She'd never hurt Ali on purpose. Bethany stole her clothes. She had a way out of Radley and she was always threatening her mom. So when she'd seen… she'd thought… and she couldn't ever let anyone hurt her mom. The only person who'd ever loved her.

Except now that she was the one who had caused the pain her arms mom's eyes.

Her mom who could barely look at her. Who couldn't even return her hug. Charlotte watched her through the car window, out of tears. She didn't know when she'd see her mom again. She didn't even know if her mom ever wanted to see her again. If her mom would ever forgive her.

In one night, she'd lost any family she'd ever had.

She was back to being alone.

* * *

"Mommy, no," Charlotte shook her mom's body, "You can't leave me here. Please, mom," she cried into her mom's shoulder.

"Charlie."

Charlotte pulled back to see her mom's eyes struggling to open, "Mom! You're okay. You're going to be okay."

"No, Charlie," her mom's breathing was laboured, "I'm not."

Charlotte spoke through tears, "No, mom, you'll be fine. You're going to be fine. You're okay."

Her mom's shaking hand reached for her daughters' face, "Honey, listen to me. I'm not going to be around anymore."

"No, no, no," Charlotte shook her head, "Who did this do to you? I need to get you to hospital – "

"Charlotte," her mom struggled to speak over her hysterical daughter, "You need to listen to me. I don't know who attacked me. But you need to be really careful. And honey," her eyes fluttered, "don't wait too long. Alison's alive."

"I know she is," Charlotte sobbed into her mom's chest, "Mommy, do you hate me for hurting Ali? I'm sorry, I didn't – "

She felt her mom's hand in her hair, "I could never hate you," she mumbled, "You're my precious little girl. You were always my favourite."

Charlotte wiped her eyes as she pulled back, "Thank you," she choked out, "I love you, mom. For everything. You're my everything."

"I love you too, honey," Jessica's eyes grew heavy, "Alison loves you. She'll still love you when you tell her. She's your family. Don't live alone."

Charlotte couldn't see through her tears but when she wiped them away, her mom's eyes were closed. Her chest was still. Charlotte leant her head against Jessica's chest. Nothing. Her eyes blurred up again as she took her mom's limp hand and tried to find a pulse. Nothing.

"I can't…," she cried, "Mommy, wake up. Please, mom. You can't leave me here."

She stayed with her mom for over an hour. But she couldn't just leave her here like this. It wasn't right. Charlotte's head hurt. She couldn't seem to form a coherent thought. All she knew was that the person who loved her the most… maybe the only person who would ever love her… was dead. Gone. Forever.

Maybe that's why she did it. She couldn't comprehend that she might regret it later. That it might not be the smartest move. She wasn't acting rationally. She was acting emotionally. She couldn't stand the sight of her mom just lying there like that.

So she dug the grave.


End file.
